Love and Marriage

This past weekend I was lucky enough to not only see but partake in a senagalese wedding.  As I mentioned before, my brother Assane was recently married.  From what I understand the wedding (at least his part) took place mainly over the phone, since he was abroad with the military.  His wife, maiam, has been staying with us, one and off, for the past month, however she was not officially moved into our house, since her bridal price was not settled.  From what I understand the women of the family do these negotiations; really the groom has very little to do with this whole process.  This past week, with sophie being home, the bridal price was finally settled and preperations were made to receive Maiam.  Again, besides Assane preparing the room, these preparations are mainly done by the women.  The whole process is really interesting, and I will not be able to do it justice in this blog. Like most things here, it is a story that will be better explained in person, however I’ll give a brief overview.   Saturday, my sisters, cousins, aunts and I got ready, which as always is a process in itself.  It really is no different than us getting ready for a wedding and I really enjoyed it.  Even though their version of dressed up it much more elaborate than mine, it was still nice to get dressed up with a group of women.  It was much like getting ready at the sorority house for Formal.

Me, Tita, the bride (Maiam) and Sophie

Once we were ready, we went  to Maiam’s village, sat around a lot, ate lunch and sat around more.  Finally, around 8, Maiam came escorted by my younger sister Tita and one of Assane’s friends.  Interestingly, the groom hardly ever comes to the reception, instead he sends a friends to escort his bride, dance with her and everything.  I’m not sure why this is, and unfortunately no one could really explain the reason to me.  When I ask Assane why he wasn’t there he just said, he could have gone if he wanted, but preferred not to.  You’ll notice through this whole process, the groom has a very little role.  He is soely in charge of preparing the house for his bride, which can mean many things.  Assane prepared his room, and is building a whole second level to our house, which obviously is not cheap at all.

After Maiam arrived, Sophie and I stuck around for an hour then went home, since we had to be there to receive her.  Like many times in Senegal, I didn’t really know when this was going to happen or what to expect.  Assuming, this wouldn’t be till the next day, I went to bed, just to be woken up at 4 am by car horns.  I briefly contemplated sleeping through all of it, as I was exgauhsted, but thankfully thought better of it.  I also assumed we would merely welcome her and then go back to bed.  Oh was I wrong! This was a long process.  She was covered in a large white sheet and escorted in by the older women in her family.  There were many things they did, and as always lots of waiting around.  The most interesting to me, was in the beginning my female relatives blocked assane’s door and weren’t going to let her enter.  Then Assane, the big jokster, claimed he didn’t want her and she could wait outside all night.  He also enjoyed in taking many photos of the whole process, like when they stuck cotton and wood in-between her toes and dumped couscous on her.  I later asked why they did this and was told, by sophie and Maiam, that they didn’t really understand the traditions either.  Looking back it dawned on me, that as the youth become more western, these traditions seem to be aged and bizarre.  Which would help to explain why Assane loved taking pictures of the whole things and poking fun at Maiam. 

Assane and Maiam, they are a pretty cute couple

The next day after very little sleep, there was a large lunch for everyone.  Many relatives and villagers of Popenguine came.  This day was much nicer, because it was at our house so I knew a lot more people, could wander around and was included even more in the bridal party.  My sisters used my room to get ready and we commonly escaped to it when we were tired.  Thankfully, Miarame (my younger sister) helped my clean it that morning. Mom and Dad, unfortunately things never change and I still don’t keep that clean of a room.   I was happy my room could be a place of refuge and I loved helping Maiam get ready.  In general the day was long, tiring but a lot of fun.  I was very lucky the marriage was of a sister, so I could be a large part of it.  My family did a great job making sure I was included in everything, which made the whole event that much better.   They even gave my 6m of fabric, which is traditional for the sister-in-laws to receive.  The whole event also made me that much more excited for the two American weddings I’ll be going to in August.  It will be really interesting observe the similarities and difference.  Also, as I mentioned above, I couldn’t possible do this whole event justice, so make sure to ask me about it when I’m back.